If you can remember...

A clever person once said "if you can remember the sixties, you weren't really there".

As someone whose formative years were in the - much less fashionable - eighties, I've often wondered what our equivalent saying might be.

I've come up with a few alternatives:

"If you can remember the eighties, I'm sorry"

"If you can remember the eighties, that's unfortunate"

"If you can remember the eighties, don't"

"If you can remember the eighties, it may pay to drink 'til you forget them"

...feel free to add your own... if you can remember the eighties that is.

Classy

"Hate me in the morning, right now I just need your couch"

Apparently what I said to my pregnant friend when I woke her up at three o'clock this morning.

It was a big day...

I don't get it...

Just when I thought I was "dog's gift" to women (or however that saying goes), my romantic life re-implodes... bringing it back to a more familiar and comfortable status.

The thing that I don't get is that "it's got nothing to do with you" (meaning me), but "I've just got some stuff going on at the moment".



"Stuff" is my word!



You're not allowed to have "stuff" going on!

You can have issues, you can just not be "into me", you can be reconsidering your own sexuality, you can even be considering becoming a nun... but your not allowed to have "stuff" going on!

Get your own bullshit excuse!

Ah well, back to the drawing board...



P.S. Does anyone care?

'To do' lists suck

Okay, so I didn't get around to doing all of the posts on my 'to do' list. I still might have a crack at the haka one, I think I had some good stuff to say about it.

In the meantime here are some gratuitous pet pics.

All taken today at the Dog Beach in South Freo.

The picture quality sucks 'cause they were taken on my phone. The quality of the day on the other hand was outstanding. It's hard to believe that it's still winter here.

Give me a dog beach over a people beach any day...

Things to do...

Work has been mental lately, so blogging has suffered.

It's not that there haven't been things that I've wanted to write about... it's just finding the spare twenty minutes or so to do it.

So consider this a 'things to do list'.

The 5 posts that I will attempt to 'bang out' over the next couple of days:

1) The post about the unexpected (but very welcome) increase in activity in my romantic life. And how it involves a number of girls whose names end in 'y'.

2) The post that explores the importance of New Zealand's haka (both versions) in the wake of the 'throat-slitting controversy' of last week, and why Australia needs something similar.

3) The obligatory post that bemoans the fact that Johnny isn't going away any time soon.

4) The post that talks of my love - and the importance of - commercial radio, with RTR having its 'Radiothon' in a couple of weeks.

5) And I'll try and think up a good Top 5 list, I haven't done one of them for a while...

Where did the weekend go?

I lost a few hours on the weekend courtesy of this post from Jessie from 'across the ditch'.

I'm a sucker for anything that involves music and my (admittedly anal) tendencies for lists, categories, comparisons, collections and the like. As a result I've spent the better part of my weekend at last.fm.

It takes note of what you listen to and makes all sorts of wonderful lists and recommendations, puts you in touch with those of similar tastes etc etc. It's a very smart music thing-a-me-bob. It also makes you listen to more music (which is not a bad thing) and steals hours from your weekend (which is a bad thing).

That said, I did manage to get out on Friday with Kim (who's living back in Perth - Yay!). We went and saw Freya Hanly at Kulcha. I've seen Freya many times, but Friday was very special. She played a set in two halves, the first half backed by a string quartet and the second by an all-acoustic band (guitar, double-bass and bongoes). She trotted out a swag of new material as well as some older stuff that doesn't usually get played at her live shows. It was all awesome.

Among the many highlights for me were Song For Amy (which left Kim a bit weepy and can be heard at her website), Feel This and Stay. Another highlight was seeing Freya's dad bursting with pride as he watched his daughter do her thing.

Freya's hitting the recording studio shortly and I can't wait to hear the results.

**EDIT** - Check out the funky new iPod thingy in my sidebar. It's courtesy of last.fm and means I will no longer be doing a "Listening to:" thingy at the end of my posts. Man, I love last.fm. Go there now and check it out for yourself.

Listening to: Something for Kate - Phantom Limbs

Kids say the darndest things

We're racist, we're sexist, we're homophobic

No, these aren't the ravings of a neo-nazi-styled-lynch-mob. They are in fact the chantings of our very own Young Liberals.

Check out the footage if you find it hard to believe.


These fucktards can only remember one Prime Minister.

They have grown up under John Howard.

The same John Howard who continues to govern in an over-paternalistic manner.

The same John Howard who continues to peddle 'fear of foreigners' through 'children overboard' and his anti-terror legislation.

The same John Howard who has virtually killed off indigenous affairs as a political issue.

The same John Howard who has refused to allow the recognition of the rights of same sex couples.

Is it any wonder that they are behaving this way?


I'm angry.

How immature

A brief exchange at work last night:


Co-worker: I think I might suffer from immature ejaculation.

Me: Ummm... don't you mean premature ejaculation?

Co-worker: No. When I blow my load I giggle and squeal like a teenage girl.


I guess I walked straight into that one...



Listening to: Thom Yorke - The Eraser

RIP Syd

I know a mouse and he hasn't got a house
I don't know why I call him Gerald
He's getting rather old but he's a good mouse

- Syd Barrett (from Bike)

...pants on fire

So Johnny's been: telling porkies / breaking promises / reneging on deals.

It's front page news.

Why?

It's not like he hasn't done this sort of thing before.

I'm with Rex on this one; 'The Smirk' has got to find the nads to call him on it.

The sad part is that Beazley will be incapable of gaining any political mileage out of this episode at all.

Gillard, on the other hand, would have a field day with it.

I think it's time that both teams changed their aging and incompetent captains.


Listening to: Billy Bragg - Reaching to the Converted

Randomness

The return of the bulleted post:

• You can buy vanilla essence, why can't you buy bacon essence? Bacon is the best flavour known to man (well - this man anyway), I'm sure I'd find uses for it.

• How come 'freshly cooked toast' scented insence sticks haven't been invented? Is there a more homely, comforting aroma? I think not. Sandalwood schmandalwood, give me toast!

• I want a t-shirt that reads: "Warning: May contain traces of nuts".

• Apparently I did a bit of sleepwalking last night. Witnesses saw me move a bowl and bang on a wooden chest before returning to the couch and a more orthodox method of slumber. I don't think I've ever sleepwalked in the past.
  

Watching: Wimbledon - Mens final

Pets-ploitation

When I'm bored I get PeeDee to do his Snoopy impersonation.




















He has no idea why, but he knows I enjoy it...





















Listening to: José González - Veneer

Whine of the week

When did 'sweet chilli' become the default chilli sauce?

Did I miss the memo?

When I ask for chilli sauce I expect something with a bit of 'heat' in it. Instead I get some sweet stuff that apparently makes any meal a 'Thai' meal.

I shouldn't have to say "not sweet chilli" when I ask for chilli sauce on my burger, pizza, kebab etc.

It annoys me no end.

Am I alone here?





Listening to: Pink Floyd - Relics (I just watched the Syd Barrett special on ABC)

Sleepy review

So tired.

Working nights and watching football 'til sunrise makes for a zombie-like Cotard.

Bad news for Australia last night, they're out of the World Cup.

Good news for Italy though.

In Fabio Grosso, they have uncovered a man with the sort talent not seen since the days of Klaus Dibiasi.


Listening to: JJJ - Mel in the Morning

Things that make you stop and think

For quite a while now, I've been using Bloglines to keep track of my favourite blogs, news stories, sports stories etc. It's such a time saver.

One of the features of Bloglines is the 'Quotes of the Day' section. While I don't check it everyday, I do on the odd occasion. Every now and then I see a quote that makes me stop and think.

Today was one of those days:

"We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything"

-Thomas Edison

It definately made me stop and think.

It made me think:

Speak for yourself Tom, ya' dumb cunt!

Harsh, but fair.
(Yes... I've resorted to swearing at dead people for a cheap laugh)


Listening to: Led Zeppelin - Remasters

In your face history

The Socceroos live to fight another day in Germany. The USA do not.

The brilliant Jon Stewart tries to fathom the whole situation here (thanks Norm).

It's worth checking the link, and downloading Quicktime7 if required.

But if all that's too hard, here is some of the text, in which Jon eloquently compares our two nations:

"Australia - the drunken us. It'd be like if our country got out of a bar at 4am, drove into a tree and left their car. That's Australia."

He knows us all too well...

WooHoo!

I think I may have mentioned before that I'm a little bit addicted to internet poker.

Well I just WON my first tournament!















That's me with the '1' next to my name (click to enlarge).

$270US for a $5.50US outlay, not a bad morning's work.

Am I excited? Much!

I even jumped out of bed and did a little poker dance when I won.*

For those who care, I won with an Ace high flush in hearts.


Watching: England v Sweden

*Yes, I play in bed... because... well, because I can.

Mandy just wants to be happy

Amanda Vanstone speaking about proposed changes to migration laws:

"This is not so much a bill to keep the Indonesians happy, it's a bill to make us happy"

Just who are the "us" in that sentence Mandy?

If you think you are speaking for all Australians; you'd be wrong.

If you think you are speaking for all of your Liberal colleagues; you'd be wrong.

Have you given any thought to the happiness of the innocent children who are going to end up in detention as a result of this 'happy' little bill of yours?


Listening to: The Waifs - A Brief History

Colourful tiles...

Create your own thingy here.

I found this link at Carly's place and thought it looked pretty. It's not a complete collection, but you get the idea.


Listening to: Radiohead - Kid A

When I sleep I'm going to be a daddy

I've mentioned here before that I'm not a great 'dream rememberer'. There was of course that pot-smoking dolphin experience and the recurring one about the three-way with Angelina Jolie and Jessica Alba, but as a rule, I rarely remember my sleepy imaginings. So I find it quite strange that for two consecutive days I've woken up remembering dreams of expectant fatherhood.

Both dreams were very similar. They involved all the negotiations that I'd imagine go on between a pregnant woman and the father of her unborn child. In both cases I was not actually involved with the girl in question. In fact, one of them was an ex who I've barely said two words to in the past three years, while the other was someone who I've never physically met, but who has offered to 'have my children' in the past (you know who you are).

If anything like this happened in real life it'd probably be a bit of a nightmare, but in my dreams it was an amazing experience, one I actually took pleasure in. Picking out names in one and arranging to move overseas in the other, proved to by quite exciting. The prospect of fatherhood, if only at weekends was rather nice.

I'm sure it all means something. I love listening to dream analysis. If anyone has one of them dream books or thinks they can analyse these dreams, I'd be keen to hear from you.

Listening to: Melanie Oxley & Chris Abrahams - Welcome to Violet