Saturday, October 15, 2005

Quotes and warnings about the love of my life

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
~Frank Sinatra

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
~ Henny Youngman

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
~ Stephen Wright

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
~ Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
~ Dave Barry

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

2 Comments:

At 10:32 am, Blogger Steph said...

Amen to that.:)Except beer tastes like horse pee (no i've never tasted it. I imagine this is what horse piss tastes like) Now Vodka..that is nectar from the gods.:)

 
At 8:43 pm, Blogger Zoe said...

"I tried jogging, but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass" - David Lee Roth

 

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